Domestic Violence And Divorce: Why Leaving Is SO Important

No one has a right to beat you or hit you repeatedly. You are not a punching bag for when someone else has a problem, gets mad, or drinks too much. You do not  "deserve it." These are all of the excuses people use to stay in a  marriage where they are repeatedly battered. You can divorce him/her, and you absolutely should, especially if there are children in the house. Here is why leaving your violent spouse is SO important.

You Will Live

Every day, three women are killed by their current or former intimate partners. That is almost one hundred women a month, and almost a thousand women each year. Men are less likely to be victims of domestic violence, but no less likely to be murdered. If you leave him/her while you can still walk, you will live. If you are worried he/she will come after you, there are domestic abuse shelters that will protect you.

Your Children See the Violence and Repeat It (Break the Cycle)

Girls that see their mothers beaten accept it as "normal" and enter into their own relationships expecting to be beaten. Boys that see their fathers beat their mothers learn that it is okay to beat a girlfriend or wife. Sometimes boys will come to the defense of their mothers and sisters, and while that is mostly okay, it is not perfectly alright. It means that these boys learn that they have to be "white knights," and they will always try to rescue "damaged" women. Leave, take the children, and get therapy for all of you.

Your Children Will Live

Domestic violence can escalate and your partner may begin hitting the children. You may tell yourself that that will never happen, but children who have one batterer for a parent are more likely to become abused when the battered parent is not present, making it impossible for you to work or leave the children with the other parent, dozens of children die at the hands of a violent parent every year. If you love your children and you want them to live, leave.

Take the children when your partner is out of the house or sleeping off an alcohol bender. Go to the police, file a report, request protection in a shelter, and demand to see a domestic violence attorney. Attorneys in these cases are sometimes provided pro bono, or free of charge.